What's in your cookie...
I love cookies...they make my mouth happy, my tummy happy and no matter what kind of day I am having, a cookie can turn that frown upside down! Like life...there is more than one thing that goes into the cookie recipe that makes it good and tasty...it takes a measured and purposeful recipe to create the cookies we are craving.
When we apply the “Good Cookie Recipe” to life, we can identify the ingredients we have all put into our recipes that have made us happy, comfortable and safe. We adjust, add or delete ingredients based on what life throws at us to maintain or return back to happy, comfortable and safe. What is in your cookie recipe? Think about how those ingredients have changed throughout your life, and the way you measure the value they hold and the amount you needed for your recipe.
When the “Third Entity” is added to life, it brings confusion, uncertainty and a shaking of our foundations that until experienced, is unimaginable, indescribable, and sometimes downright unbearable. It throws everything off it’s axis and makes you start questioning your past and what you could have done different. You look to the future and trying to imagine what this will look like, what it feel like and ultimately what it will feel like when it’s over. It is like you loose home base for a while because everything is in a non stop spin.
For years I have been helping people discover “their” new ingredients and have helped them to readjust their measuring sticks to their new reality. What I could have never known was that you not only find and embrace the new ingredients, but you also have to grieve the loss of the old ones. It’s hard to accept, adjust and move on, but imperative to finding the joy, love and amazing moments in the new normal. You can’t get around this adjustment/pain...you have to go through it when it presents itself. I have found that in order to be in control of the impact it has on our life and our story, is to expect life to happen tomorrow, not be surprised by it. If I expect life not to happen, I resent it when it does...(easier said than done most times) but like Brene`Brown says..”Expectations are Resentments waiting to happen...”
Today, I am continuously adjusting my ingredients to meet today’s new normal, today’s new challenges, but most importantly looking for and finding the joy in each and everyday in the simplest things and the shortest of moments. 20 years ago memories were made on vacation to a far away place, today they are made in our backyard being together, loving each other and playing with the dogs.
Cookies bring comfort and leave an amazing familiar taste in our mouths, and help us to return to a place that feels comfortable and familiar. Todays “good cookie recipe” includes things I would have never expected to taste good... These are the some of the supports are helping us along the way...Family...Friends...Community Support Group (so nice to know I am normal..first time ;)) and the homecare agency that helps with the we hurdle and are hard for us to get over. Full disclosure, getting support in-house was hard to wrap my head around because the story I was telling myself was that I was failing somehow, I don’t need anything..and got super defensive...I think this is normal...but then one amazing woman stopped my bed from spinning by saying...the true story is that the extra support is giving you the help you need to reach the ultimate goal being able to keep Jeff home and EVERYONE be happy healthy and safe. That smacked me like a ton of bricks...It has helped us so much, it was just the ingredient I needed at the time... I know there is a lot more resources out there that will guide us through this journey when it is time