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Answering the Questions You Don't Know To Ask...

Updated: May 6, 2021

I think the scariest part of this journey is not knowing what we don't know, and having to rely on the professionals who support us to answer the questions we don't know to ask... What I know for sure is that when we understand “why” something is happening we can accept, adjust and move on. As an educator the foundation of my talks are base on the information people don’t know how to ask.

There are a couple of things I would like to share with you that would have been helpful to know earlier in the journey...

What’s happening... I feel like I am reacting to everything and can’t figure out if I want to cry, laugh or punch someone and most times I feel like doing it all at the same time.

Why... Long story short, you are not getting enough oxygen to your brain to combat the chemical Cortisol that is produced when you get mad, scared or feel like you're in danger. Your Amigdayla is your emotional control panel and is in the middle of your brain and is part of the Limbic System. This is where the chemical Cortisol is produced by your fight, fright, or flight reaction. For example...Think about the last time you overslept for work or an appointment. The moment you woke up late and started your day in “high gear” your brain gave you a giant shot of Coritsol and sent you on your way. If I asked you if you “responded” or “reacted” to things the rest of the day, what would you tell me? Most of us would say we “reacted” and would be followed by a detailed report of how the rest of the day was bad and out of whack. As Caregivers, we start out our day sometimes, with a giant cup of Cortisol for breakfast.

Remedy... Breathe... If this word breathe, just made you want to punch me, this is your sign that you are are not doing it. This used to make me really mad when people would tell me this, I would be like “really, if it was that easy don’t you think I would be doing it?” And well it turned out I was not doing it. Once someone proved it to me, it turned into the key practice in being able to get my poop into a group and wrap my head around the things that now affect our everyday life.

The Marines call it “Tactical Breathing”...Which really helped me wrap my head around the concept, mostly because if they do it, there must be something to it.... (I am a hard sell) I did this every 4hrs for two weeks and I can tell you the color of the sky in my world changed, how I saw my husband changed, and most importantly, it helped me to extend grace to both of us when things get hard and allows me to keep peace in my heart instead of always being at war with myself, my husband, and our life.

Check out our virtual experience called “Support Ourselves in the Moment” it is in the moment where our stories are created and frustration, stress and anxiety are created, it is also the place where love, compassion and grace happen. Let us help prepare you for those hard moments, instead of helping you repair the damage from those moments.

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