I think i have attempted at least 5 times now to start this blog thing...It appears that I have some road blocks that i have put up in front of myself. Do we as human beings do that??? hahahahah There are so many things that have happened in the last 7 years I can't hardly believe it... From meeting the love of my life... to finding my place in the world where I able to be free to be myself and educate people on how to best support each other as both Family and Professional Caregivers. Today as I begin to purposely live in this "New Place" I am choosing to change my perspective and try to make something good come out of all the not so good that has happened in the last 7 years...I hope to share our experience, thoughts and discoveries along the way in hopes of helping all of us navigate our journeys.
As a Social Worker I have had the privilege of being part of many many peoples journeys, from active aging to hospice. I have been a Caregiver Coach for many years and have studied extensively about the best way to support Caregivers who are supporting the ones that they love. What I learned from the outside looking in was that Caregiving was a constant job that required patience, love, stamina and most importantly courage to fight the battle.
What I have learned since becoming a Caregiver is that the toll it takes on your heart to watch someone you love suffer is by far one of the hardest things to experience. The helplessness you feel by not being able to help make the pain go away, the vulnerability you feel when you are relying on a healthcare system, Dr. or Psychologist to make the right decisions that will without a doubt add to your quality of life, but instead choose a path that is conducive to a system instead of the people it is meant to serve and protect.
SERVE AND PROTECT...Ironic...My husband is a Gulf War Warrior he has been 100% service connected due to Gulf War Illness. It has been my experience as of today that the very last thing they are doing for us is serving and protecting. They train our Soldiers to stand on a foundation of INTEGRITY, HONOR, and RESPECT yet they don't have capability of showing that to the families they support.
Gulf War Illness is by definition unexplained everything from joint pain, muscle pain, digestive issues, widespread pain, and chronic fatigue. Whatever this thing is also attacks areas that become injured or compromised from other surgeries, the attack comes in the form of excruciating pain to that area (like the incident just happened) forever! In my husbands case for instance, he has two fully replaced shoulders (long story) horrible pain... He broke his left had (dominant) about 3 years ago and it continues to be excruciating pain till this day... there is more but I think you get the idea...
The journey thus far has been so unbelievable and has affected not only our lives but has changed the foundation of who we are as humans. The last visit with our primary physician went something like this... I am out of tools... I have nothing else there is nothing else we can do... (Me) So you are telling me that there is no hope for him to have a better quality of life because you are out of ideas even though we now know that the only thing that will ever manage his pain is medication and you will not take the one tool you have in the box to help??? WTF At that point I was met with the hand and told that was the end of the appointment...HOLY CRAP....
This is not how our story ends... I will not and can't stand by and let this kind of "Support" continue... there is so much we can do to change the systems... but until we start seeing people as humans and connecting in different ways we will forever have Families who suffer from PTSD from the very system that is suppose to be there to support them....
The best gift we can give each other is our gift of experience... let's travel the journey together... from our family to yours....
To find our more about what we have going on here at Embrace, check out https://www.embracingjourneys.com/upcomingevents